I love coaching youth baseball. I really do enjoy helping kids learn and live up to their potential.
However, watching a team go through it’s cycles of learning can be one of the most challenging things you can imagine as a parent. You just want to protect your kids from all the pain in the world – and that includes all your kids – not just yours but the ones on your team. But sometimes, they have to go through those trials and tribulations to get better.
My oldest son plays on a club baseball team that has steadily improved over the season. They have played in 3 championship games (all tournaments) this season. They have yet to win one. Yet each tournament represents a significant improvement, another step forward.
The first tournament seemed almost like a fluke. They lost a game, tied a game, then won a game and were in the championship. The lesson there was that they can actually play for a championship.
The second time around they lost their two opening games but came back the next day to blow out the two teams they faced and end up in the championship. They ran out of gas in the championship game and ultimately ended up losing by one run. They walked away realizing they needed to play better on opening day to improve their chances on championship day.
This past weekend they had two strong, strong games on opening day of the tournament and then more or less walked into the championship game. There they ran into a team that had to fight their way in through a close game. The sudden rise in competitiveness caught our kids off guard and they lost by a wide margin. Hopefully, the lesson there will be about finishing.
When they are ready, and hungry they are a tough team to beat. As a parent and a fan I wanted them to win every single game, every championship. There is disappointment. However, I think our kids also learned that there are no “easy” games. Some games come easier than others, but in any competitive environment where winners are artificially restricted – every match needs to be treated with respect.
What do I mean by artificially restricted?
Real life provides many, many opportunities for many, many people to win. Today my dad forwarded me a list of the Tech industries top 40 billionaires. Now think about that. the Top 40! In fact, there are over 700 billionaires world wide. Before the economic crises there were over 1,100. And that doesn’t count multi-millionaires, or just plain millionaires. Okay, lets forget money. What about the olympics? Over 300! More if you count all the medals given to teams. My point is that in life there are MANY ways to win, and very often there are many ways to win within the same space. We like to create the notion of being winners or losers, but who wouldn’t consider themselves a winner if they had a billion dollars? How about $100M? Not enough to make any of Forbes list but more than the typical lottery.
Sometimes just getting to play is a form of winning. The experiences we have shape who we are. The choices we make, the lessons we commit to learn I believe help us create our future. That’s one reason I love youth coaching so much. We can shape peoples futures through instruction and encouragement. We can setup challenges that test our young kids and give them the opportunity to learn. But we shouldn’t be suckered into believing that these young artificial limits are real or representative of “real life”. Competition can prepare us to handle difficult situations, challenges and opportunities. But the real gift is the confidence that comes from knowing we can be challenged and not only survive, but thrive.
Scott
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